sHawti3 & p3nd3q
Monday, July 13, 2009
ive been very emotional dis days
i kept to myself
always away frm others
quite,neva talk much
im stress out
ive been fightin alot wif baby dis wk
neva myt him for more den a wk
im goin crazy n i mean it
i miz him sho much..we r 1 wk pluz more
to our 6 mth annie
n i hope he can myt me
Labels: shawtie=pendeq
DANGER:
Too Much Love Can Kill
{/7:39 AM}
Thursday, July 9, 2009
sumtymz i juz envy my fwenz
their bfs r owys thr to care for dem
they seldom fight
but me
i owyz fight wif him
we owys disagree wif dis n dat
he owys tynk im not matured enuf
i realise dis rs is lyk based on me only
i who ask him out n he agree
i cnt even rmbr d last tym he asked me out
if there is any
now we dun talk on the phone
reason = he dun lyk holding d phone
we dun sms
we barely meet
he can meet his fwens almost evryday
but not me
he used to do dat
not now
well maybe startin is owys lovey dovey
it seems his luv fade alrdy
there is nutin for me left
he is juz goin to dump me sooner or later
n i will juz sit n feel helpless
how i wish everything cud fall perfectly wen im wif him
den nutin will go wrg
tears soak my eyes everyday
i juz cnt hold on dis pain anymore
Labels: shawtie=pendeq
DANGER:
Too Much Love Can Kill
{/7:43 AM}
Friday, July 3, 2009
ive been cranky dis few days
fightin wif baby for few days
im so showie
i didnt mean all dis
im juz paranoid
i cnt let him off my sight
i fyl so insecured
i tynk i dun trust him
im afraid of losin him
icnt lose him
not now
not eva
i luv him too much
if ony he noe
he is not lyk how he used to b
he is more cold towards me
he dun pamper me anymore
is he sick of me
im afraid to noe d truth
coz im afraid to b hurt
AGAIN
im goin crayzee
i noe
i tynk i have adhd
a sort of disorder
i asked him
will he stay by me
if im reali dwn wif dis
he said yes
im afraid of bein hurt
Labels: shawtie=pendeq
DANGER:
Too Much Love Can Kill
{/9:12 AM}
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
2day is my 5 mthz annie
n i m so hapie
baby sent me a texted
n wen ive read it
i was so full wif tears
haha
cry non stop
baby asked me y im away frm webby
n i told him
i dowan him to c me cry
he was so shocked
he asked me
y i cry
i juz said i duno
well actually im touched by wat he texted me
he said
Happy annie syg.i luv u lots n will still luv u in mthz or years 2 cum.sori 4 all unwanted arguements tat we had.u must bear in mind tat i luv u lots ok dear?smuackz!!
bcoz of dat text
i cry non stop
haha
i luv him way too much
Labels: shawtie=pendeq
DANGER:
Too Much Love Can Kill
{/8:44 AM}
Monday, June 22, 2009
its gonna b 5 mthz in a few more minz
haha
didnt expect dat it wud b dis long
i wanted so much to c baby wear d necklace i bought
at least if he dun wear d whole thing
he wear d locket wud b fine
i wud b happy
hmm..webby wif him ryt now
i dun tynk he gt my add for dis blog
im beggin so much for him to wear it
juz to show his appreciation
n he luvs me
i will b more den hapie
i noe im secured
he is lyk my otha half of my heart
i luv him too badly
im gettin fond of him
every minute
but it seems he is gettin way too cold towards me lately
mayb ive grown fat
dats y he is gettin disgusted wif me
im so ugly now
i juz cnt help bein miserable
ppl owys say
"eu will tend to do anything or everything
for d one eu luv,n eu will hurt very much"
im hurtin now
but no one seems to care
i cnt find d old him anymore
whr hav he gone to??
i juz cnt find
hav he found sum1 new
hav he gt a replacement
will he leave me
does he still luv me
Labels: shawtie=pendeq
DANGER:
Too Much Love Can Kill
{/8:48 AM}
Sunday, June 21, 2009
sunday 11:59
today i met up baby
n oso besties yukiyiid
went to esp to chill
hmm
saw dat baby neva wear d necklace i bought
hmm
kinda upset
mayb he juz pretend dat he lyk
d stuff for his bdae
n still gt d cheek to say
dat he cnt dettached his lock n key locket
actually im devastated
if he dun lyk he cud juz say
nyd not hav to act
nowonder he kept it bck in d jar
he wud neva wana use it
he dowan his fwens to noe me
i duno
im confuse
he seems so cold to me
but y
i dowan him to fade his fylinz
wat shud i do
im so miserable
Labels: shawtie=pendeq
DANGER:
Too Much Love Can Kill
{/9:13 AM}
Friday, June 19, 2009
baby i mish eu sho much
y r eu so cold 2wards me lately
r eu hiddin eur fylinz for me
or r eu juz losin d fyl for me
i luv eu sho much
4 more days
its our 5 mthz annie
plz dun b so cold towards me
i luv eu
n i mish eu badly
hvnt see eu for sumtym
i duno if eu mish me
or not
i hope eu do
n if eu do
plz at least show me
im goin crayzee
plz dun do dis to me
Labels: shawtie=pendeq
DANGER:
Too Much Love Can Kill
{/7:33 AM}
Thursday, June 18, 2009
sumtymz i wonder
if eva 1 day he leave me
as in dis surface of earth
or in live itself
wat wud hpn to me
i luv him totally
yeah maybe we hav our ups n dwns
but most of d tym
we enjoy each otha's company
he neva fail to luv me
pamper me
spoil me wif chocolates
{i get agitated if i dun hav 1 per day}
he dun mind me wen i baby talk to him
or wen i ask him to piggy bck me
{well he is skinny but strg enuf to carry me}
carry my stuff
{even on his bdae}
entertain my fussiness
fully satisfy me
if eva 1 day we gt separated
it wud surely drive me crayzee
its been 5 mthz
close to it la
n ive been luvin him more instead
neva thought we wud go dis far
i thought he was juz anotha 1mth bf of mine
but no
ystrdy i gt a nightmare
i end up wakin up n cry
i dreamnt dat i went out wif baby n family
pluz his ex??
yeah his ex
she was openly flirtin wif my bf
n baby seems to ignore me
i sat there tryin to control my temper
as dat bitch openly flirt wif my bf abt games
end up
i juz cnt control
{im well known for my temper}
i broke out in tears and shouted
"hey bitch!y muz eu flirt wif my bf!"
i wanted to punch her
but baby stop me
i ran all d way sumwhr
n kept cryin
n suddenly i was awake
n i broke out in tears afta dat
i was so afraid
dat he might go bck to his ex
or mayb leave me
i cry n cry at arnd 4+ in d mrng
i cnt lose him
he cnt leave me
i will go crayzee
Labels: shawtie=pendeq
DANGER:
Too Much Love Can Kill
{/7:48 AM}
Monday, June 8, 2009
fuckin bro
so fucked up
n irritatin
kip pesterin me
sayin my bf muz ask permission
to bring me out
wat does he think
its 2009
not 1999
i was so fucked up juz now
its not dat i dun wan to brin my bf hm
its juz
i dowan
my family is so currupted
overly corrupted
there is trojans in my family
n any way
i dun fyl im ready
to brin him to my family
its not d ryt tym
yeah
im crayzee in luv wif him
but dat doesnt mean i muz intro him
straight away ryt
2 more years
i juz cant wait to taste freedom
i wanna get my own apartment
wif my besties
helmy n prabhu
3 of us plan so long ago
since we were in skool
i juz wanna get out of dis livin rut
i cnt stay here anymore
i nyd to get out
i hav no parents to control me
n neither do i wan to b controlled
by my bro
wif his naggin
ouh puhlease
he nags worse den my mum
which means
he nags worse den a women
im so sure my sis in law
who pauto him
dat i went out wif his family
pauto kia
i mean
she was sayin dat if her daughter
were to date sum1
she wans dat guy to cum myt her
n guesh wat
im not her bloody daughter
so y d hell is she complainin
my eur own buisness la
is dat so hard
or r eu makin it hard?
i wanna get out
helmy bestie??
wen r we gettin a house
i wan a house
1 lappy
1 pc
n 1 big screen tv
dat can oso b use to serve net
i wan playstation
xbox 360
all d gagets
den we can drink n hav fun evryday
they juz dun understand
dat i dowana b embarrassed by dem
Labels: shawtie=pendeq
DANGER:
Too Much Love Can Kill
{/11:47 AM}
Saturday, June 6, 2009
baby's bdae is anotha 6 more days
omg
wat shud i get
i reali reali got no idea
d otha day
which is wednesday
me n baby went out to bugis
wif his mummy
uncle auntie yusri
lani didi
maklong n daughter
omg
i was so freaked out for a second
eu now y
coz its my 1st tym
goin out wif his family
besides didi n lani
den his mummy intro me wif his maklong
shockin
eu noe
coz she said it lyk dis
"ella,nie mama pny kakak"
"koko pny maklong"
i was lyk
??MAMA??
ouh
ok
haha
its dat gud enuf?
well i tynk mayb
yeah
now now
i got so many things to tynk
baby's bdae
wat shud i get
i wan to buy him watch
but he stupid
go repair his watch
now its either
clothes
or
external hard disk
hmm
which one?
he said
he dowan anytink
but no
its his 21st
muz hav sum memory of it
hmm
crackin my head now.
Labels: shawtie=pendeq
DANGER:
Too Much Love Can Kill
{/8:28 AM}
Saturday, May 30, 2009
i mish my baby sho much
im goin crayzee
its been 1wk 1 day
i reali mish him
he has been werkin nonstop since friday
i pity him
he muz b very tired
not havin a proper slp
im mytin him 2moro
i cant wait to c him
he is cumin to my werk place for rebondin
his curls all out
omg
his hair look crazy enuf
i mish him sho much
Labels: shawtie=pendeq
DANGER:
Too Much Love Can Kill
{/10:37 PM}
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
i went to ssdc today
as i hav circuit revision
i was cryin b3fore goin out of my hse
baby said his ezlink card
not enuf
i was so upset
devastated
i tot i cud myt him today
i wanted to make it up abt ystrdy
i juz cnt stop cryin
frm ystrdy
n wen he said dat
my heart
reali went out of my back
den afta my cr
he msg me
he said he felt bad
im makin him fyl useless
by d way i text him
i shud b d 1 fylin useless
he act lyk nutin wrg
he duno wat i fyl
i felt so upset
i juz wana cry
till my tears dry up
but he wun undrstnd
wat he said
made me fyl reali hopeless
useless bum i m
i kept on cryin wen i reach hm
as i msg him
i cry n cry
my tears juz cnt stop
i hav to wait till next week
n i neva noe
if we can myt up next week
its been 4 days not mytin him
we owys myt on weds
n sumor
dis wkend he is werkin
i hav to wait a week pluz
he duno
its drivin me crazy
he doesnt seem to fyl my pain
or mayb
he is juz not showin it
im so so upset
if anyone cud juz undrstnd
if ony he cud
i can wait
but d wait is pain
he is juz not d same
i juz wish i cud hear him
sayin to me
"baby,i mish eu sho much,
a day not mytin eu is
drivin me crazy.."
but no
i neva did hear dat frm him
maybe
he juz dun lyk showin it
he shud noe
i got fylinz
i nyd to noe
to fyl secure
i luv him sho much
im stuck to him now
he cnt let go of me
not now
not eva
Labels: shawtie=pendeq
DANGER:
Too Much Love Can Kill
{/4:36 AM}
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
I donno y
Baby is still angry at me
I said showie many tymz
But he seems odd
He dun text me lyk usual
He dun kol me anymore
He dun say i luv eu
sometymz
i juz fyl odd
coz he now dun express
his fylinz
he dun treat me lyk
how he used to
mayb bcoz of all d arguementz
last month
we fight alot
and i noe
he fyl very hurt
so do i
by wat we each otha hav said
i mish d tym we spent
i noe he still love me
but im afraid
he might 1 day
go away
im reali in luv wif him
sumtymz i wonder
if he even noe dat
i canot let go of him now
coz its too late
im stuck to him now
i juz luv him way too much
a day neva goes by
without thinkin of him
i mish him
even wen he i juz away
to the toilet
i dowana let go of him
if ony
1 day
he juz realise
how much
im deeply
crayzee
in luv wif him
maybe
he wud treat me betta
or maybe its juz me
expectin to much
well i duno
i luv eu sho much baby
i luv eu ony..
Labels: shawtie=pendeq
DANGER:
Too Much Love Can Kill
{/8:29 PM}